Breaking up with someone you used to like or love is one of the hardest things to do when you start getting into relationships. Learn how to make it a bit easier for you if you need to break it off with someone using a few important casual dating tips.
Why Break Ups Are Hard
Even if you’re the one initiating the break-up, it does not mean that you’re not scared to do it. Breakups are always hard to do because it threatens to take away the secure attachment that you’ve created with your boyfriend or girlfriend. You may not be as attracted to them as when you first started dating or you might be annoyed at your partner for distracting you from your favorite TV show or game, but you can’t deny the power of being connected to them. This is because the relationship has altered you physically, somehow. Your brain produced oxytocin that chemically connects you to your partner while you were in a relationship. This is the bond of love. When you’re about to break up, your psyche will fear the threat to your attachment and cause it to produce fearful and irrational thoughts.
This is when you might start thinking about how you might not find someone who’s better than her or that you might make the relationship work by compromising with him and many other excuses just to avoid a break-up.
If you still want to break up, here are five important things to remember, as taught by casual dating gurus:
• Go direct to the point. You owe the truth to your partner. Tell them that it might be the hard truth, but that it would not be fair to the both of you to continue dating even if you don’t feel it anymore. Do it straight so you can get it done the first time.
• Stay nice. You might think it would be easier on both of you to break-up mad instead of sad by saying mean things. While it’s true that grief over a broken relationship seems easier to handle when you’re angry instead of sad, it’s even messier to achieve. You don’t want to emphasize all the negative aspects of your partner and being with that partner just to make them mad. It’s just plain disrespectful.
• Be sensitive. Think back to those times when you really loved and cared for the person before any break-up thoughts started. Show compassion while you gently let your partner down with the break-up news. Let them cry, but don’t dry those tears by taking your partner back.
• Respect your partner. The heartbreak of a break-up is tough to handle. Don’t make it worse by destroying the self-worth of that person by telling them all the reasons why you want to stop your relationship. Doing so will only give them scars that will affect how they handle their future relationships.
• Be firm on the break-up. As is the pattern with regular or casual dating, the first attempt to break up might not stick. But you have to keep pushing it until your partner accepts the fact that you really are breaking up.